by Gary Gabbage
Nazi camper attacker Delores Van Huisinberg resides in the mountains of Trapper’s Creek, Alaska near Petersville road. She has a decrepit evil lair inside the mountains fully equipped with several German Panzer tanks, fighter planes, soldiers, and (of course) a Bear named cheeseburger. (When the bear gets hungry, Delores feeds him the Nazis). She normally starts her morning routine at about 11:00: party time for campers or hunters getting back from their hunting trip. (Also sleeping time, but you get the idea) She listens for any sound of an innocent camper listening to music or, a podcast of some sort. First of all, she checks cameras for her favorite parking spot. If she’s in a good mood when she sees someone there, like when I encountered her, she alerts her friend Bob the truck driver to let us know somewhat angrily that we got a few hours to move before her rage unfurls. His exact words were: “when the lady down the road finds this out, she’s not gonna be to happy, so you better get going”.
Later that day, I ran into one of her spies. Including a butterfly. I could hear the soldiers getting off the landing craft and yelling angry German words in the creek below our camp. We made it out that day, but just barley. I could here her tank and feel it shaking the ground, and the growl of Cheeseburger.
Use Caution in the woods of Petersville Road