Primus box: The Frustration Machine

by Gary Gabbage

Consider this trash made forth by blender’s sophisticated sadness animation. Not only is it terrible, but it’s also not good.

Terry The Pterodactyl

by Gary Gabbage

Terry was a YUGE pterodactyl who did stuff before he was dead. He loved to scream a lot as well. Terry drove in his sadness convertible one day and considered how weird he looked. He then decided to grovel across the floor as it would make him look normal. He was the last pterodactyl in existence so he didn’t look very normal. Groveling didn’t work, obviously. He then decided to go home to his small little lump of depression he called home.

Terry’s Weird Little Home

He started boiling owl blood (his favorite snack) and considered what he would do the next day. He decided he would try to wear pants as he currently had NO PANTS!!!!!!

The next day, he rented a tuxedo for a trick and became a formal Terry. He was so formal that he was invited to a game show host tryouts for some suspicious show called “Beat the Barracudas” in which the contestant must answer the question before a mound of barracudas are dumped on him/her/it. The owners of this show were thrilled that someone as disturbing as Terry could be their show’s host. He quickly excelled at developing a very loud screeching game show voice that terrified the audience. On the first night, 5/10 of the contestants “Beat The Barracudas” and the rest were not so lucky. He was the highest payed game show host of all time.

NO THOUGHTS!

by Gary Gabbage

Some info good for those with dephoratruckusariumus:

by Gary Gabbage

Don’t worry 😉 I’m still here! Get ready for more dumb content and also view my site.

Click here to view my sitehttps://bmp-media.wixsite.com/home

I Have Released a Brand New Website.

by Gary Gabbage

Hello, this is Gary Gabbage. I have released a media website called BMP Media. It has a lot of stop motion videos similar to the Cool Brown Things shorts. It also has many stories as well. A lot more is coming to it. However, I need your help to make it more popular. Without many views, it will not show up on search results. Please consider viewing my website. It has a lot of content you will enjoy. Thanks!

If you were wondering, I will still post on Brown and Wooden once in a while. Here is the link to the new site: https://bmp-media.wixsite.com/home

Note: this is not a new brown and wooden site, and is very different. If you are looking for different brown and wooden writers, all of them are still on this site.

Dephoratruckusariumus: The devastating condition. Do you have it? Let’s find out.

by Gary Gabbage

Dephoratruckusariumas, (DTS for short) is a condition where you have an unexplainable love for trucks, and in some rare severe cases, refer to them as Trooks. ( Tr-UUUUUUUUUU-CKS). How can you find out if you have it is what I’ll explain today. Without further ado, let’s begin.

1. You LOOOOVE trucks

2. You call them Trooks

3. You are a strong firefighter with a deep gravely voice

4. You often talk about driving down the open road and feeling the wind in your hair.

5. You brag that some animals, including buffalo, aren’t as important because you have horsepower

6. You constantly tell people not to neglect their truck.

7. The idea of driving a big ol truck makes you feel extreme excitement

8. You LOOOVE Trooks (worth Mentioning again)

9. Trucks are your life

10. You mention trucks for absolutely no reason whatsoever during every conversation.

Multiple medical companies including our own Big Brown medicine INC. have attempted building a DTS test, but all have failed. This list should help you determine whether you have it or not. Here is a diagram to help based on how many of these 10 symptoms you have:

0-1 unlikely

1-3 possibly

3-4 Probably

5-8 Almost certainly

8-10 Definitely

There is a possibility that dephoratruckadariumus may not be a real thing.

Hey!

by Gary Gabbage

Don’t forget to check out my advertisement for Pork Pants!TM it’s a few million scrolls down!

Cool Brown Things Episode 3:

by Gary Gabbage

Wow! A lot of work the past week! I have already finished yet another episode. This is a two part episode. Very smooth

Update: You may want to know that the video says this episode 2 when it’s actually episode 3. This was a YUGE mistake on my part. Please continue to enjoy this big brown content.

This episode runs at 20 fps instead of the usual 12. That is why it’s smoother and shorter.

Note to all our video viewers: Please Read

by Gary Gabbage

Due to the age of this site, you may have trouble playing some of our videos. If you do, please continue to restart them until they work. Issues include the video freezing and saying it’s playing when it’s not.

Behind The Scenes: Cool Brown Things

by Gary Gabbage

Have you ever wondered how this series was made? You probably never had, but anyway, here it is!

Thanks to all our supporters. The viewers are why I continue to make this stupid content, but I enjoy it!