CRABtext

by toddfisk

Here at CRABtext, we go the extra mile to make sure you, and your family are fully equipped to use your voting power responsibly, and confidently. Our crab operators are standing by to answer questions of all kinds. Whether you are sickened by bloated government spending, or just want to know what the hell the electoral college is, these crab policy experts will educate you to the full extent that a crab can in 60 seconds or less. Call or text now and CRABtext officials will likely send you a worthless free gift that will definitely not be in any way crab related. Some recipients will receive a closed padlock with no key, and some will receive a free cat (cats range in condition from alive to dead). Most will receive nothing. For more content free information call 1-888-BIG-CRAB, or simply text CRAB to 5671 on your AT&T phone machine. CRABtext. You can trust us. We’re crabs.

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